Do Me a Favour

Your wedding favours are a special thank you and keepsake that can remind friends and relatives of your beautiful wedding day.

Traditionally, wedding favours (also called bombonieres) are made up of 5 sugared almonds wrapped in an attractive cover of lace or presented in elegant boxes. The almonds represent Health, Wealth, Happiness, Long Life and Fertility. The giving of a favour dates back to early Europe, when they were given by the aristocrats of the period to celebrate marriages, birthdays and christenings. In their earliest forms, bonbonieres were made of gold, precious stones, crystal, or porcelain, and filled with sugar, which was a precious commodity. This gradually changed to the giving of the 5 sugared almonds as sugar became more available and everyone began to participate in the tradition, not just the wealthy.

Modern Brides want the tradition of the favour, but more and more Brides are choosing alternatives to almonds, or even adding the 5 almonds to something else. So what do you choose?

The key is to take a look at the two of you as a couple. What are the interests of you and your groom? What are your personalities? What is the theme of your wedding? Any of these may be re-created in the wedding favour. Favours are fun! Glass motorbikes and miniature champagne bottles ... chocolate truffles and beaded bags - all can be used as favours. Into scuba diving? Miniature swim fins might be an idea, or a small vial labelled "oxygen"! If horses are your thing, then consider the horseshoe, or a small horse charm. If the library is more your speed, you might think of hand-stamped bookmarks with ribbons to match your wedding colours. One innovative couple I met handed out a personalized CD of their 10 all-time favourite songs! Of course it included the song for the first dance. (You'll have to research permissions for this)!

Be creative. Have fun, and try to choose something that will obviously remind your guests of who gave them the favour. No good handing out a Jiminy Cricket if your entire apartment is decorated with Donald Duck! And don't even consider a whoopee cushion if your wedding is super-formal and ultra-elegant! On second thought, don't even consider a whoopee cushion AT ALL! But hopefully, you get the idea.

When shopping for your bombonieres, choose a company to help you that offers a wide variety of items and wrappings. Take your time looking through the selection. Also make sure they can be ready and delivered on time. Do not choose your wedding favour item solely on price - you have to be both pleased and proud of the look of the item, as it is designed to stand the test of time (just like your vows). If the item is perfect, but will cost a lot more than you planned, consider giving just one favour per couple in attendance, as for a long time, only female guests received the favour.

For extra good luck, the Bride is expected to actually prepare the favours, but these days it is not always possible to hand-tie bags of sugared almonds, or to attach small cards with your names and wedding date with your own hands. If you are not able to prepare the favours, be sure you make the effort to lay them out on tables or hand them out to your guests with your own hands. A little of the Bride's good spirit will be sure to rub off!

Best wishes,

Kathy

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Okay, I'll Do It! What, Exactly?

Maid of Honour, Best Man, Bridesmaid, Usher; nice titles, but what do they actually have to DO? People are often surprised and sometimes annoyed at what they are called on to do for their friends, so before you agree to take on one of these coveted and often exhausting roles, read on!

As the Maid of Honour (or Matron), you have one of the most important roles in ensuring the success of the wedding. Be organized! Carry pen and book with you everywhere! Your list of duties is a long one. Some are essential and some voluntary, but if you remember that your main duty is to take some of the planning burden off the shoulders of the Bride, you're sure to do well!

Before the Wedding

-Volunteer to go with the Bride to scout locations. It is a big decision for her to make without input.

-Help Bride choose invitations and volunteer to address them if she needs help.

-Offer your help in ordering and choosing decorations and favours. Assist in setting timelines for delivery of these items to shower, bachelorette party and wedding.

-You MUST go with the Bride when she is shopping for her dress and for the bridesmaid dresses, and it is essential to ensure the dresses arrive with enough time for alterations! Attend fittings with her, to give feedback on how it looks and fits.

-If the Groom bails out on the Bridal Registry, go with the Bride to help her register for her wedding gifts. This is actually a lot of fun, so enjoy it! Try to let guests know where they have registered.

-Help the Bride with the seating arrangement. Consider a diagram of the tables to help with this. Bring the diagram to the wedding reception, in case there are seating problems.

-Host and plan the bridal shower (ask for help from bridesmaids, Mom, sisters).

-Host and plan the bachelorette party (again, ask for help).

-Help organize the other bridesmaids.

-Attend the rehearsal dinner and help out with organizing the "plan".

On the BIG DAY

-Assist the Bride into her dress and makeup.

-Shuttle messages between the Bride and others.

-Try to visit the reception hall if you can to make sure there are no problems.

-Get the Bride to eat something prior to the ceremony - it is a long time until dinner.

-Get the Bride to the ceremony on time and ensure she has everything she needs, such as bouquet, garter, borrowed and blue.

-Find the Bride some privacy before the ceremony if she needs it.

-Help her with her veil and train.

-Hold her bouquet during the ceremony.

-Carry the Groom's ring with you and hand it over when needed.

-Witness the signing of the marriage license.

-Give a speech or toast at the reception.

Tired yet? Have a seat, you've earned it!



If you are the Best Man, your main duties do not begin until the Wedding Day, but there are some items you need to accomplish before that:

-Organize the Stag Party

-Attend pre-nuptial parties in the couple's honour

-Attend formal wear fittings

-Pay for your own wedding attire

-Traditionally, confirm reservations for honeymoon and make sure Groom has the tickets, etc.

-Run errands as necessary.

-Help co-ordinate arrangements for out-of-town guests so Groom doesn't have to do it.

On the BIG DAY

-Be on time for all appointments and help Groom be on time!

-Help Groom dress and finish any packing.

-Hold payment envelopes for clergy, organist, caterer and hand out as appropriate.

-Hold the marriage license.

-Hold the Bride's ring until needed, or attach to ring pillow.

-Keep Groom calm.

-Organize ushers.

-Witness signing of Marriage License.

-Assist Bride and Groom into vehicle leaving ceremony, and also ensure all guests are in correct cars leaving the church.

-Place Bride and Groom's luggage in the car they will use to leave the reception.

-Offer the first toast at the reception (keep it clean!)

-Dance with Bridal Party members.

-Help Groom change into going away clothes.

-Help the new husband and wife leave the reception when it is time.

-After the wedding, return your own and Groom's formal wear if rented.

Good Job!


Bridesmaids

You have a strong supportive role you must play during the entire wedding experience. Your most important duty is to support the Bride during the planning process and on her big day, but basically, volunteer your services as required to both the Bride and Maid of Honour for running errands, making centrepieces, addressing envelopes, etc. Show up on time for all dress shopping and fittings. Try not to tell the Bride you hate the dress she has picked out for you to wear, even if it's true.


Ushers (Groomsmen)

You will have to show up on time for formal wear fittings. You will be the one to assist guests to their seats for the ceremony. You will have to hand out any programs or service sheets and help the Groom and Best Man with any last minute duties. You will be expected to escort one of the Bridesmaids down the aisle either before or after the ceremony, or both.


The Bride and Groom say "Will You?", and hopefully you now have an idea of what you are taking on when you say "I'd Love To". Any role you have should be executed if not with perfection, at least with enthusiasm! Your friends will be forever grateful.



Best wishes,

Kathy



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Dreams are Made in a Dress that Fits

Every bride dreams of looking her best on her wedding day, and spends hours shopping for the perfect gown. But brides often worry about those extra two or three pounds ...

Every bride dreams of looking her best on her wedding day. Plans for hair styles, makeup, and THE DRESS are all-consuming. Finding the perfect wedding gown can require hours of shopping. Many brides feel that perhaps if they lost a couple of pounds before their wedding day, they'd look more stunning as they walk down the aisle. Not true. Think back to every wedding you've ever attended. Unless you are the catty type and the bride stole your own boyfriend and is now walking down the aisle with him, you likely only had nice thoughts about how she looked. The flush of excitement in her face, the beautiful hair-do and makeup, the overall elegant surroundings; these brides are beautiful.

Now imagine the uncomfortable and far-from-pleasant day she would have if she was in a dress that pinched under the arms, or didn't let her take a full breath. Oxygen is essential to a beautiful wedding day!

While you may think losing a few pounds is the only way to achieve your desired "look" for the special day, keep in mind that planning a wedding and getting close to the wedding date can be very stressful. In many cases, stress can lead to overeating, and there are also numerous celebrations planned by family and friends prior to the big day which usually involve food and sweets. It can be a very tempting time. Your fiance loves you, at the size you are, so really there is no need to shed any weight for the wedding day. The key is to find yourself a dress you love and that looks good right NOW, and arrange for any necessary alterations later on.

You'll order your dress long before the wedding day, many times up to a year in advance! Wedding gowns are seldom off-the-rack purchases. Unless you are a size zero (lucky you) you'll have to attend fittings to adjust, alter and hem. IF you have lost any weight before your wedding, then at the final fitting one or two weeks before the ceremony, alterations can be made. You can always make a dress smaller, but it is extremely difficult to make it bigger.

I have heard the seamstresses agonizing about the bride who assumed she'd lose those couple of pounds and a week before the ceremony is asking for PANELS to be added to the dress! Don't let this be you. If you are trying on a dress that looks gorgeous but is very snug around the bosom, or pulls a bit across the rump, you are apt to think: "oh, well, after I lose 5 pounds it will be perfect". Do not order this size! Find the size that fits you now in the dress you love, and order it in that size. You do not want to spend one of the most important days of your life in shoes that are too tight ... the same rule applies to your dress!

Beautiful brides are not created by their dress size, and nobody needs to know what that size is except you. Be glamorous, be gorgeous - be comfortable!

Best wishes,

Kathy

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The Ring's the Thing

You're in love. You want to get married. He has proposed and you're picking out rings! What do you look for? How do you choose? There are hundreds of styles and cuts and choices!

Of course, if the romantic groom-to-be has surprised you with a diamond engagement ring (or you think he may be planning it), hopefully it is the style and cut you were dreaming about. It should fit your finger if he did his homework and "borrowed" one of your other rings for size. Hopefully he asked your best friend what style of ring you like, or studied the jewellery you already own to get some ideas. If you only wear silver or white gold, it would not be the best choice to surprise you with a yellow gold engagement ring. Do remember that he chose it with love and probably a lot of sweaty palms and nervous laughter! And if you want to give him some hints, it is not that difficult to introduce the topic of your preferences, even in casual conversation. Mention a ring that a girlfriend received and tell him why you didn't like it, or flip through a magazine and say "oh, that's pretty" at the page with the style you like.

It is not uncommon these days to have input into your own engagement ring. You have to wear it for the rest of your life, so you want to love it, and it is a momentous and expensive purchase that many guys just don't want to screw up! Traditionally, the engagement ring is a single band with a solitary diamond and the wedding ring is a single band made out of the same material as the engagement ring, but there are no hard and fast rules. Whether you are choosing a ready-made ring or having something custom-designed your personal preference is the most important criteria, but there are some basic things to keep in mind.

Select a stone and setting that will withstand the rigours of everyday use. Can you play sports, complete a workout, wash dishes, and achieve your daily hairstyle in this ring? Diamonds can be channel-set, which means the tops of them are even with the band, or they can be mounted in a prong setting, or solitaire style, which means the stone(s) are sticking up above the ring. The most popular metal used for rings is either yellow or white gold. 24 karat is 100 percent gold, 18 karat is 74 percent gold and 14 karat is 58.5 percent gold. The higher the karat, the richer the colour, but the softer the band. If you intend to wear your engagement and wedding rings all the time, your best bet is to choose 14 karat gold. If you're allergic to gold, go with white gold, or if you can afford it, choose platinum.

Speaking of affording it, remember that your love for each other has nothing to do with the price of your rings! The reality is that you purchase what you can afford, while remembering that choosing your engagement ring and wedding bands is an emotional event, and a purchase that will last a lifetime. A common starting point for budgeting is 2 months salary for the engagement ring, and amid some controversy, 3 weeks salary for the wedding rings. (Some experts suggest 2 percent of your wedding budget for the wedding rings). If this seems like a lot of money, then be sure to choose rings based on your financial situation, and remember that the most important considerations are quality and value. Do your homework and learn about the 4 C's of diamonds (colour, cut, clarity, carat) and shop around to find styles and prices you like.

It is traditional to wear the wedding band closest to your heart and the engagement ring on the same finger over the wedding ring, so consider how the rings will fit together. Also consider the overall look of your hand. Even couples with a big budget may choose a small ring if the girl's fingers are slender. A huge ring stuck on top of a small hand is not always the most flattering look you can achieve. You may decide to purchase a ring set which is already designed to fit together, but it is not unusual to choose an engagement ring you love and then find a wedding band to complement it. And if you love the engagement ring but not the wedding bands available from one jeweller, you can always buy the bands elsewhere. Many couples do not choose their wedding bands at all until well into their engagement period.

The groom-to-be has a lot less options available for his wedding band, but still must decide on thickness of the band (measured in millimetres), colour of the metal used, and whether he wants some kind of engraved design or even a diamond on his band. Diamonds on most men's rings are channel set, but it is up to the individual.

Whichever rings you choose, they will take you from "will you marry me?" to "I do" and into forever, and will always symbolize your love, which, like the circle, remains unbroken.


Best wishes,

Kathy

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