The Ring's the Thing

You're in love. You want to get married. He has proposed and you're picking out rings! What do you look for? How do you choose? There are hundreds of styles and cuts and choices!

Of course, if the romantic groom-to-be has surprised you with a diamond engagement ring (or you think he may be planning it), hopefully it is the style and cut you were dreaming about. It should fit your finger if he did his homework and "borrowed" one of your other rings for size. Hopefully he asked your best friend what style of ring you like, or studied the jewellery you already own to get some ideas. If you only wear silver or white gold, it would not be the best choice to surprise you with a yellow gold engagement ring. Do remember that he chose it with love and probably a lot of sweaty palms and nervous laughter! And if you want to give him some hints, it is not that difficult to introduce the topic of your preferences, even in casual conversation. Mention a ring that a girlfriend received and tell him why you didn't like it, or flip through a magazine and say "oh, that's pretty" at the page with the style you like.

It is not uncommon these days to have input into your own engagement ring. You have to wear it for the rest of your life, so you want to love it, and it is a momentous and expensive purchase that many guys just don't want to screw up! Traditionally, the engagement ring is a single band with a solitary diamond and the wedding ring is a single band made out of the same material as the engagement ring, but there are no hard and fast rules. Whether you are choosing a ready-made ring or having something custom-designed your personal preference is the most important criteria, but there are some basic things to keep in mind.

Select a stone and setting that will withstand the rigours of everyday use. Can you play sports, complete a workout, wash dishes, and achieve your daily hairstyle in this ring? Diamonds can be channel-set, which means the tops of them are even with the band, or they can be mounted in a prong setting, or solitaire style, which means the stone(s) are sticking up above the ring. The most popular metal used for rings is either yellow or white gold. 24 karat is 100 percent gold, 18 karat is 74 percent gold and 14 karat is 58.5 percent gold. The higher the karat, the richer the colour, but the softer the band. If you intend to wear your engagement and wedding rings all the time, your best bet is to choose 14 karat gold. If you're allergic to gold, go with white gold, or if you can afford it, choose platinum.

Speaking of affording it, remember that your love for each other has nothing to do with the price of your rings! The reality is that you purchase what you can afford, while remembering that choosing your engagement ring and wedding bands is an emotional event, and a purchase that will last a lifetime. A common starting point for budgeting is 2 months salary for the engagement ring, and amid some controversy, 3 weeks salary for the wedding rings. (Some experts suggest 2 percent of your wedding budget for the wedding rings). If this seems like a lot of money, then be sure to choose rings based on your financial situation, and remember that the most important considerations are quality and value. Do your homework and learn about the 4 C's of diamonds (colour, cut, clarity, carat) and shop around to find styles and prices you like.

It is traditional to wear the wedding band closest to your heart and the engagement ring on the same finger over the wedding ring, so consider how the rings will fit together. Also consider the overall look of your hand. Even couples with a big budget may choose a small ring if the girl's fingers are slender. A huge ring stuck on top of a small hand is not always the most flattering look you can achieve. You may decide to purchase a ring set which is already designed to fit together, but it is not unusual to choose an engagement ring you love and then find a wedding band to complement it. And if you love the engagement ring but not the wedding bands available from one jeweller, you can always buy the bands elsewhere. Many couples do not choose their wedding bands at all until well into their engagement period.

The groom-to-be has a lot less options available for his wedding band, but still must decide on thickness of the band (measured in millimetres), colour of the metal used, and whether he wants some kind of engraved design or even a diamond on his band. Diamonds on most men's rings are channel set, but it is up to the individual.

Whichever rings you choose, they will take you from "will you marry me?" to "I do" and into forever, and will always symbolize your love, which, like the circle, remains unbroken.


Best wishes,

Kathy

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