A Full Party

I have 5 good friends and only 4 places in my wedding party. What can I do for the other friend so he doesn't feel left out?

This is a great question and one that can be an issue for Grooms quite often. It can also be a struggle for the Bride.

First you have to remember something. Your choices for your wedding party should be based on your wishes, not the guilt that may come your way if you make an unpopular choice. Are you asking this person to stand up with you because you want them to or because they asked you to be in their wedding and will most likely expect it? Pleasing yourself and your partner is what really matters, but being strong in the face of "pressure" is not all that easy.

Having said that, there are some great options available to you in order to include special people in the preparations for your special day, and they don’t have to take on the roles of Best Man and Groomsman, Maid of Honour and Bridesmaid in your wedding party.

Most people think first of the MC, or Master of Ceremonies. This is not a gender-specific role, but it does need to be given to someone who has a bit of personality and isn’t reluctant to show it. It can be a great job for even the shyest of people, as they tend to write things down and keep order so things move along quite well.

Usher. There are always at least 2 Ushers at the church, escorting guests to their seats. If you have a particularly large guest count, more than 2 Ushers are needed, so your friend could be one of those. Regardless, the Ushers do not always come from the bridal party. Groomsmen do not always have to be Ushers, and Ushers do not always have to be Groomsmen. And Ushers do not always have to be male.

Guest Book Attendant. This role can also be filled by either a man or a woman. The guest book attendant stands next to the guest book and shows guests where to sign and answers any questions the guests may have. Sometimes, the guest book attendant may also accept wedding gifts on behalf of the bride and groom.

Singer/Musician. If your friend is talented (and only if!), ask him or her to perform a song or play the piano or guitar for someone else as they sing.

Reader. Often, the ceremony will include one or two readings, either from Scripture or from a favourite poem of yours. This is not as intense a role as the MC, but does still require the person to get up in front of a large group. Anyone asked to read at your ceremony will most likely feel very honoured.

You might ask them to say the Grace at the reception. This does require their input and thought well ahead of time. You don't want them to "wing it".

If they are a really good friend, you might even discuss the dilemma with them, explaining why you are limited to only 4 persons in the wedding party, and asking what they might want to do. You could ask them to work closely with the Best Man or Maid of Honour at planning your special events, i.e. Stag party, shower, etc. Then be sure to give them credit at those events.

Don't be upset if you offer one of these important roles to someone and they turn it down. Some people prefer to work behind the scenes. They may not want to do any of these jobs, but would love to help you pick out invitations, or even shop for gifts for other members in your wedding party. Whatever the outcome, just know you were a good friend to consider them, and tried your best to include them in this once-in-a-lifetime event.



Best wishes,

Kathy

Feel free to leave your comment!