It's All in a Name

What's involved in changing your name after marriage? Do you even want to?

At any time in Ontario, and in most provinces, you may change your last name to your spouse's last name without a "legal" name change. This means no government paperwork or legalities. You may keep your maiden name, hyphenate your maiden name with your husband's surname, or switch completely to your husband's surname. And yes, your husband may choose to use your surname instead of his own as well. After you sign your marriage certificate, you are officially able to start using your new name! Despite how easy it is to accomplish, many brides worry about a variety of things.

Does using my husband's surname take away my own identity?
I've worked so hard to be known for what I do in my career, how will people know it is still the same person on business cards, email and fax?
If I am the last child in my family and all the others have changed their names, will my heritage be lost if I don't have children or if I only have girls?

As with many things involved in and surrounding your wedding, this too is a matter of personal preference. Nobody else can make this decision for you, but we can give you some information to mull over.

Your identity comes from your person, your accomplishments and your sense of self. No matter the surname you have, these things remain constant. Getting married will certainly change some things in your life, but it does not remove you from the planet, so feel strong and proud of whom you are and decide what you would like to do with your name!

In business, as in most things, it is possible that the first few months of using your new name might be awkward. People are patterned and habitual, so if they have always known you by your maiden name, then it will take them some time to get used to the new one. Don't get upset if this takes a while, and do not be surprised if after everyone has adjusted, you get the odd mistake even months later!

It is always your option to keep your maiden name at work and change your surname for everything else. But many brides want people to realize they are married, so it is also extremely common now for brides to hyphenate their names. You must really think about this choice, though. You will be signing this name on documents, emailing this name to business associates and friends. People will need to call you by this name - "excuse me, Mrs. Constantine-Massarelli". "Pardon me, Mrs. Taylor-Wellington". It can be long and cumbersome. If you have a Price-Toth it might roll off the tongue with ease, but something with multiple syllables in both names such as Rosenberg-Scheltema, well, this might cause some problems down the road. Or it may NOT! Again, it is a matter of personal preference. Just be sure to try it out loud a few times and on paper before you make the final decision. Most young girls practise writing new names when they have their first crush. This time it will be for real, so enjoy it!

If you would like to hyphenate or change your name to your husband's but are worried about family heritage and so on, think about using your maiden name as the middle name for any child you might have. This offers an alternative and still preserves the memory and lineage of your ancestors.

Now to the real work - changing your name with everyone you know. The people attending your wedding have an advantage, because after you say "I do" and sign your paperwork, you are usually introduced to the company in the manner in which you want to be known. "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the newly married couple Mr. Nicholas Berelli and Mrs. Angela Santos-Berelli." Clap clap clap. You may want to order some pre-printed labels for thank you envelopes and so on with your new name as well, to make it easy for people to remember. For the rest of the world, well, there is work to be done.

Make at least a dozen photocopies of your Marriage Certificate before you put it away in the fireproof lock-box. These will be needed for mailing out, faxing and so on. Make a good list of who you need to tell the information to. Go through your wallet first. Every card in it needs to be changed. Driver's License, Provincial Health Plan, Social Insurance are basics, and each has its own procedure. Credit card companies can usually be done with a signed letter and copy of the certificate by fax. If you are changing some of your cards to joint accounts, then they will tell you how to accomplish this. Your bank will need a copy of your Marriage Certificate. Canada Revenue (Income Tax) would like to know ahead of time, but they allow you to wait until next time you file to change your name. If your address is also changing, do NOT wait.

There is more! Your employer's human resources or accounting department will need to know, along with all of your doctors, your dentist, and your optometrist. Many of these do not require the certificate, but some will. Your new spouse will need to add you to their group medical coverage at their work as well. If you have children, be sure to inform their school and update your child's emergency contact information.

Hold a Power of Attorney or sign jointly on a parent's or grandparent's bank accounts? They'll need to have proof of the change as well.

Of course there will be others, but you can notify them as they come up. When you think you are finished, keep a copy of the certificate in a corner of your purse just in case!

Unless you are too-organized before your wedding, it is a rare bride who does all this legwork before the ceremony, and as you can see it will take some time when you return from the honeymoon. But the change will be forever, so it is worth a bit of red tape at the onset to have all your affairs in working order! Congratulations Mrs. Massey, nee Alziadeh! You're a married woman!

Have fun practising the name-writing, and best wishes!

Kathy



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