7 THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT YOUR WEDDING (BUT YOUR WEDDING PLANNER WILL)

By Melissa Nowakowski of Et Lofte Events

When it comes to weddings, there is so much effort and preparation that goes into the "big day" and everyone wants everything to be perfect. But there are a lot of things that a couple should keep in mind both during the planning process and for the wedding day itself. And a lot of the time it doesn't come to mind or often goes unsaid...unless you have a Wedding Planner of course.

Here are some things that most people likely won't tell you about planning your wedding (but that a good Wedding Planner will):


1. That two year old Flower Girl or Ring Bearer may not make it to the end of the aisle (and that's OK!)
If you choose to have a very young Flower Girl or Ring Bearer you have to accept that there is a possibility that they may not make it to the end of the aisle (or even go down the aisle at all). Sudden shyness, fear or being distracted are all likely possibilities. And if they don't make it down the aisle, your ceremony procession won't be ruined. In all reality no one will care. It may even provide a lighthearted moment. So avoid putting unnecessary pressure on the little ones (and yourselves!). If you're truly unsure of whether or not your Flower Girl or Ring Bearer can do the job you're planning to give them, opt to not have one. There's no rule that says you have to.


2. It's rain, not acid. 
Everyone wants a beautifully sunny, warm day for their wedding. But hey, sometimes Mother Nature has other plans. If increment weather is threatening to rain on your parade, don't let it set you into a panic. It's just rain, not acid. It's not going to melt away your wedding. The key thing is to be prepared. Have matching golf umbrellas handy (a good photographer will be able to set up some awesome positioning/shots utilizing those umbrellas) and have back-up plans for anything happening outdoors whether it's the ceremony, reception or your Wedding Party photos. No one is going to judge your wedding day because you had rough weather. So just accept that you might get wet and move on. (Or don a super cute pair of rain boots and have fun with it!)


3.  S*** Happens. Roll with it.
Any wedding professional who says they can make your wedding day "perfect" is full of it. There is no such thing as a "perfect" wedding day. Stuff can happen. Mistakes can happen. Delays can happen. Bad weather can happen. Just roll with the punches and you'll find that your wedding day will be happy no matter what transpires. And if you have a Wedding Planner you've got it made because they'll do all the stressing and fixing for you which makes ignoring the not-so-great stuff and focusing on all that "hey-I'm-getting-married-today" goodness that much easier.


4.  Not all wedding professionals can give you "discounts" or negotiate their fees. 
There are so many magazine articles and blog posts out there that give you tips on how to "negotiate" with wedding professionals or how to get "discounts". But here's a little secret: Not every wedding professional can give you those discounts or can negotiate their fees. And that doesn't make them bad vendors. That makes them great vendors because they actually value their profession and what they can do for you. You have to understand that this is a wedding professional's livelihood. If you wouldn't accept your Boss docking your salary because they don't want to pay you that much why would you expect a wedding professional to doc their fee? It's important to focus on the quality of service that you'll get, not the price. And if you can't afford that quality, consider downsizing on another element in your wedding so that you can. A good Wedding Planner won't promise to get you "discounts" for all of your vendors. They'll explain that some may offer discounts, others may offer incentives and some will just do their absolute best to make you happy on your wedding day. Focus on what they can DO for you, not on what the dollar sign says.

PS: That goes for us Wedding Planners too!


5. You don't have to please everyone.
Everyone has an opinion or advice as to what you should do or have with your wedding. But that mean that you have to actually incorporate every idea, tradition or demand into it. The biggest mistake you can make is creating a wedding that makes everyone else happy but leaves you stressed and feeling as though it's not about the two of you anymore. I've said it once and I'll say it again, the key words in this scenario is "I'll take that into consideration". Then consider the idea/advice/demand and either put it into practice, toss it or compromise. Parents have their own idea of how weddings should be but while some of their points may be valid in terms of etiquette, culture or religion, you have to remember that they only know how things were done when they got married and they don't quite realize how much the times have changed. If your parents don't like something that you've incorporated, they'll get over it. Trust me. In the end they just want you to be happy (even if they aren't saying it at that moment). Friends, family members and those in your wedding party all, I'm sure, have fantastic ideas but they may not have your budget in mind. The only people that you have to please on your wedding day is your guests and yourselves. If your guests are fed, entertained and respected and you are having the time of your life, then bravo -- you've done what's appropriate.


6. It is not acceptable to be a "Bridezilla" or "Groomzilla".
The fact that there are television programs out there that glamorize the "Bridezilla/Groomzilla" mentality just kills me. It's not funny. It's not cute. It's not even entertaining. The whole "it's my day and it has to be my way" line of thinking is just plain unacceptable. Yes, you want a fantastic wedding day and you want to have a good time. But so do your guests, your wedding party and those who are working their hardest to make that happen. It's all about respect. Giving out as much respect for those celebrating with and working for you will be reciprocated ten fold. Having an overall nasty attitude will just damper your wedding with negativity which defeats what you were trying to achieve in the first place doesn't it?  Refer to point #3 and understand and respect that your wedding will only be as undesirable or enjoyed as your attitude.


7.  Those close to you are as nervous and excited for your wedding day as you are. (Including your wedding professionals!) 
If you have butterflies, can't sleep and are jittery the night before the wedding...guess what...so do those close to you. Even if they don't say it or show it, they all want you to have the absolute best and most memorable wedding day and are secretly crossing their fingers for you. No matter what may transpire before the wedding day, there is nothing but love and excitement and good thoughts for you on the wedding day. So on your wedding day breathe in every laugh, every tear and every pitter-pat of your heart and feel that love and excitement in the air and enjoy one of the most happiest moments of your lives.